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Dwight Shrute: Do you want to form an alliance, with me?
Jim Halpert: Absolutely I do.
"Do you think? Or do you know?"
"See, this is why the whole downsizing thing doesn't bother me."
Dwight Schrute: Someone forged medical information, and that's a felony.
Jim Halpert: OK, Whoa, alright 'cause that's a pretty intense accusation. How do you know that they're fake?
Dwight Schrute: Uh, Leprosy? Flesh Eating Bacteria. Hot Dog Fingers. Government Created Killer Nano Robot Infection?
Michael Scott: Why are you playing the national anthem?
Jim Halpert: Um, 'cause your condo is in America.
Michael Scott: Oh.
"I want him to have all the urine he needs."
"That's not how I taught you."
Kevin: I love their sandwiches.
Jim Halpert: I love their sandwiches too.
Kevin: Their bread is real good.
Jim Halpert: Their bread is very good.
Ryan: How many Filet o' Fishes did you eat?
Michael Scott: That's over several months, Ryan.
Ryan: Still...
Jim Halpert: This scented candle...andle...andle, that I found in the men's bathroom...room...room, represents the eternal burning of competition... or something.
Kevin Malone: It smells like cookies.
Jim Halpert: Yes it does. Yes it does my friend.
Pam and Roy.
"I liked you better as the temp."
"Me too."
"It wasn't me."
Roy: Hey, Jimmy, what do you think about the purse girl?
Jim Halpert: Cute, sure, yeah.
Roy: Why don't you get on that?
Jim Halpert: She's not really my type.
Roy: What are you, gay?
Jim Halpert: Mmm. I don't think so. No.
Kevin: Well what is your type?
Jim Halpert: Moms, primarily. Yep, soccer moms, single moms, NASCAR moms, any type of mom really.
Roy: That's disgusting.
Kevin: Stay away from my mom.
Jim Halpert: Too late, Kev.
Michael Scott: I'm also part Native American Indian.
Oscar: What part Native American?
Michael Scott: Two-fifteenths.
Oscar: That fraction doesn't make any sense.
Michael Scott: Well you know its kind of hard for me to talk about... there's suffering.
Dwight Shrute: A hero kills people. People that wish him harm. A hero is part human, part supernatural. A hero is born out of a childhood trauma or out of a disaster and must be avenged.
Mr. Brown: You're thinking of a superhero.
Dwight Shrute: We all have a hero in our heart.
Kevin: Do you want to go to the beach?
Angela: Maybe.
Kevin: Do you want to get high?
Angela: No.
Kevin: I think you do, mon.
" ♪A little bit of Pam all night long, a little bit of Angela on the thing, a little bit of Phyllis everywhere, a little bit of Roy eating chicken-crispers, a little bit of Jim with some ribs...♪ "
Dwight Schrute: The problem, Jim, is that people who are really suffering from a medical condition won't receive the care they need because someone in this office is coming up with ridiculous stuff. Count Choculitis.
Jim Halpert: Sounds Tough.
Dwight Schrute: Why did you write that down, Jim? Is it because you know I love Count Chocula?
Dwight Shrute: Michael wants us to bond so we need topics for conversation.
